Aim: What topic do you think would make a good personal essay for a college admissions essay?
Do Now (5mins): If you were writing your autobiography right now, what is the first memorable event that would have to be included?
Response: I think that the most memorable moment that comes to mind would have to be when I entered High School. This is fresh in my memory, which means that I would not have a hard time remembering facts that are essential in my essay.
Read-Aloud and Analysis of Hugh Gallagher’s personal essay: (10 mins)
1. What does it mean to be a dynamic person (character)?
According to Dictionary.com, a dynamic character is one "who undergoes a permanent change in outlook or character during the story; also called [developing character]"
2. Is this essay rich in imagery? Identify them.
This essay has a lot of imagery and you could tell because when you read the essay, he makes you feel as if he was actually talking to you. For example, he explained how he once helped other witth great detail; "Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.".
3. Do you notice any alliteration?
Yes, alliteration is present with the letter w, "I woo women with my sensuous...".
4. Is the vocabulary extensive, eloquent (well expressed)?
Yes, there is a good use of vocabulary which makes the essay look professional but adequate.
5. What makes it memorable, fluent, or persuasive?
This essay stands out for its content. The author repeatedly uses "I am" to explain the things that are memorable to him. What makes him fluents, is the constant use of the phrase "I". And his persuassiveness is short but to the point when after explaining the many things he has done, he says, "But I have not yet gone to college.".
Accommodations: handouts, technology, dictionaries, teacher will re-read any questions. For less proficient readers: To help these students through any difficulty vocabulary and syntax in this essay, encourage them to focus on one sentence at a time, make sure they understand it, then read on.
Customize for ELL (where necessary): may have difficulty understanding the Run On sentences in the passive voice. Model how to break them into shorter sentences and to rephrase them in the active voice to facilitate comprehension.
Cooperative Learning: (10-15mins)
Locate an online Thesaurus or open MS Word, click on tools, then use the thesaurus to help you with vocabulary words that could describe your life changing experience.
Form groups of 4 and use the T Chart handout and do the following:
Left side: Make a list of 2 experiences that have changed you
Right side: Create a list that could describe that experience
Teacher’s T-Chart Model Example:
(significant experience)First Day Teaching
Estatic, scared, frustrating, exhilarating, fun, exciting, exhausting
Achievement (turning in my thesis to my adviser)
Felt relieved, what to do with myself now?
(significant experience)First crush
Shy, embarrassed, mature
Students will share out on their Cooperative Learning: (5mins)
Now Teacher will instruct students to write two additional experiences that have changed them, then stand. Teacher will instruct students to move in clockwise direction (around the desk) to the next open notebook or T-Chart and fill in the right side of the T-Chart with words that could also describe that experience. This will be a timed session and upon hearing the teacher say “switch” students will move to the next T-Chart….Almost like musical chairs.
(5 mins) Address the Aim question with exit journal entry and whole class discussion: Students will volunteer what they think would work for them if they were to write a personal essay.
Procedure: Teacher is usually welcoming students outside door and students would be instructed what to do such as: get assigned laptops and start the do now.
Materials:
Laptops, notebooks, pens, pencils
Overhead projector
Hyperlink to Hugh Gallagher’s college essay
Handouts (T-Charts) and Homework.
Dictionaries, Thesaurus (online or on laptops)
Works Cited:
Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.
Hugh Gallagher’s college essay
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